MALE, PAST 45? yOU'RE LIKELIER A BETTER LOVER

The middle-aged man may not be just getting older, he may be getting better as a lover, a Vancouver doctor said recently.

Dr. Peter Grantham, speaking at the world conference on family medicine at the Sheraton Centre on the so-called "male menopause," said doctors do not yet agree on whether there is such a thing. He called it the "pause that perplexes."

Are the changes in the glands or in the times?" he asked.

Family doctors do see a pattern of change in men aged 45 to 50, he said. Typical are sexual problems, depression, insomnia, forgetfulness, loss of confidence, signs of aging that include prostate and heart disease and skin changes.

Grantham said some doctors think these conditions are due to a decreasing amount of male hormones. Other doctors feel it is all a state of mind brought about by stresses of middle age, such as increasing fear of death, sexual boredom, menopause in their wives, rebellious children and job problems.

"But," he said, "most of us don't really know."

Nevertheless, he said, most men can be reassured if their doctors tell them that is normal for sexual activity at 50 to take more time. That, he said, may well be an advantage by making the man a better lover.

"The middle-aged man takes longer to come to climax, he has more staying power than a younger man, and his endurance is more sexually pleasurable for his partner," he said.

Impotence, he said, is not a normal condition. A man can expect sexual activity to be continued through life although less often. "The normal changes of aging partially alter the nature but should not reduce the enjoyment of sex."

"Age affects primarily your speed, not your power," he said. Fifty-year-old men he said, should keep themselves active, intellectually, phsically and sexually.

"Use it or you'll lose it applies to your muscles and brain as well," he said.

THE TORONTO STAR

DON SAYS: Very reassuring for old guys like me. At the ripe old age of 75, I still enjoy a satisfactory sex life with my life. Just imagine! The kids are gone, there is more time to do it, there is a compliant partner, with whom you communicate much better, especially after 50 years of marriage. We tend to lose our modesty to some extent, and the times of passion can be really great! As far as the physical body is concerned, I have prostate cancer, which is well under control, my hair is thinner, I am fatter, but if you and your partner are really in love as we are, we see each other as much younger, and trimmer, we overlook the bumps and sags, leading to a very pleasurable life. May it last forever!