DEAR DIARY

Diary keeping is often associated with what young girls do. There is something coy and whimsical about keeping secrets hidden under lock and key.

Yet now I hear strong men and attractive women discussing the merits of writing a daily diary. Some say it has made all the difference in their development. They are even able to tell us why.

For a long time Dr. Bell had been recommending a daily diary as an Aid to Recovery. Those who have accepted the recommendation have found that it does help in a remarkable way. And that for several reasons.

For one thing, it helps to keep you honest. A person can deceive his friends, his spouse, his employer, and often does during the drinking days. He can even deceive himself by rationalizing his behaviour. But when you sit down to write it all on paper it's a different matter. Who are you kidding anyway? It is hard not to be honest with your diary.

It also helps you trace patterns in your progress toward recovery. Most people have mood swings. But during the recovery period they really swing. There are days of tension that make you climb the wall. There are periods of depression that descend like dark clouds. One man reports that during his first year of recovery he faithfully recorded all these ups and down. As he wrote it all down he began to detect a pattern. It got to the point where he could almost predict to the day when that bad time would hit him and how long it would last. It helped him tremendously to become so aware of what shape his pattern was taking.

There is another reason that is more subtle. It has to do with what it means to be human.

What makes us human? What distinguishes a human, say, from an ape? Different people with different slants on life will come with different answers. The simplest definition I know is that what makes us human is that we know that we are human. We have an awareness of ourselves. You can call it self-consciousness. We can, as it were, sit back and appraise ourselves and our behaviours. I can say "I hate myself for doing that." Who is this "I" that hates "myself". It is the self being conscious of the self.

Because we are self-aware several consequences follow.

For one thing, we are not bound by the present. We can look back on the past and learn from it. We can anticipate the future and plan for it. All other creatures are simply part of the emerging stream of life. Man makes history.

For another thing, we can work together with other people to create a society that has meaning and which each person has opportunity to realize his own potential. Animals have social structures too that seem to work smoothly. They do by instinct what we have to learn. We have to learn how to live together. We have to be critical of our relationships and search for ways to improve them.

Being self-aware means also that we can set goals for ourselves and then set out to reach them. We can sacrifice immediate pleasure for the sake of lasting gain. We can find a purpose in our lives that goes beyond merely existing, satisfying our needs for food, shelter, and pleasure.

We can even detect meanings in the universe. The astronomer, the biologist, the ethologist, the anthropologist, the philosopher, the theologian, all search for order, for meaning, for the deeper understanding of what existence is all about.

That is what it means to be human. But what has this to do with keeping a diary?

It is possible for a person to live without much self-awareness at all. He gets up, he eats, he goes to work, he sits hypmotized in front of his TV and then sleeps again - day after day. Life becomes dull monotony, endless routine.

The habit patterns are so deeply grooved that creative thought becomes unnecessary. That person is already dead, even though he has yet to lie down.

To be alive is to be self-aware. One sits back to consider the meaning of it all. He faces the realities of his existence. He searches for better ways, for improved relationships, for a higher functioning level. He takes charge of his life.

This is where the diary comes in. It is really an exercise in self-awareness. It is learning from experience, translating insight into action. If to live is to grow and to learn, keeping a diary is a useful device for staying alive. It can make one more fully human.

DR. GEORGE BIRTCH

DON SAYS: This is the most profound and deeply moving article I have ever read. It is a tribute to a fine man and a great pastor.