MIRACLES

It is spring and new life is being born to the land, as tender roots explore the soil. Slowly but surely buds are forming on the trees. The sunlight begins to contain some wormth and in patches here and there the grass is green. In the morning, before the traffic forms its blur of sound, the birds are talking to one another and to the sky.

DEAR GOD it is good to be alive and to be sober! I am learning how to live and how to see and how to appreciate the countless miracles I am discovering in my little corner of the world.

I have learned not to be afraid of that word "miracle" which comes from the Latin - an object of wonder. The words mirror and mirage are from the same source.

The musician Arthur Rubinstein forms his concise personal philosophy around this word. He writes:

"I'm passionately involved in life: I love its change, its color, its movement. To be alive, to be able to see, to walk, to have houses, music, paintings - its all a miracle. I have adopted the technique of living life from miracle to miracle...what people get out of me is this outlook on life which comes out in my music."

When I was in the final stages of my drinking, my outlook on life was cruel, twisted and distorted. Sobriety was a terribly painful experience. I would thaw out only to find I was friendless, unemployed, flat broke, in debt, haunted by the spectre of my children I had made fatherless. Quickly I would capsize into the warm sewer of cheap wine and its fleeting haze that smears the sharp borders of time and truth.

Reality? Run away from reality for it is suffering and anguish.
Miracles? Rubbish!

When I began to recover from alcoholism, gradually I found there were pleasing reasons for staying sober. My first reason came when I watched the clear eyes of an elderly, very sharp newspaper editor. I remember thinking: "My God I wish my eyes were as clear as that. I wish I could think as clearly as he can."

Then one day I saw in the mirror that my own eyes were clear. Something to wonder at. And my thinking was slowly clearing. I began building up a little daily schedule of gratitudes. Every time I would come by the luxury of having both a cup of coffee and a cigarette, I would pause - just for a second - and be greatful.

Little by little my gratitudes multiplied - clean socks, a new suit, the beauty of a flower, being able to see someone perform an act of kindness on a busy street. And the sky, the stars, the blessings of sight, the grace of movement, the thrill of action, the taste of a homemade cookie.

Make no mistake. I am not living in a world filled with pink gauze and perfume. There are rough spots. Lots of them, but somehow, by stringing together the little flowers of appreciation for the gifts life has to offer makes the whole thing rewarding. I have found beautiful treasures in reality where there were only rocks and pain.

Yes, Spring is here with all its miracles. And it is another miracle that I am able to appreciate its wonders.

A RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC.

DON says: A magnificently beautiful story about a miracle happening. A fellow addict who shares my wonder at the way we returned to a lovely and fulfilling life after a stay in a dark and forboding world of dark bars, crumbling relationships, auto mishaps, loss of friends and relationships. This is stark reality, and I feel proud for having gone through this whole problem and have stayed sober for 39 years now. (2008). You will note that I have put "RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC" at the end of his story. We must continue to battle alcoholism for the rest of our lives because the minute we take just one drink, we are back in the black hole. Don Felstead