TO UNDERSTAND IS TO FORGIVE

TO UNDERSTAND IS TO FORGIVE

If memory serves, it was Voltaire who said that:

Here is a true illustration of the sort of situation he may have had in mind.

A person who had been a patient in a psychiatric hospital was telling some of us how difficult it had been for her, after discharge, to get enough courage to face life's common demands. It was six months, for example, before she had enough nerve to drive her car. One evening she set her jaw and forced herself to drive herself to a meeting. When it was over she was tremendously proud of her achievement.

The next day she happened to be talking to her sister-in-law. She said, "I went to the meeting last night."

"Did your husband drive you?", asked the sister-in-law.

"No, I drove myself" she proudly said.

The response was, "Well, it's about time!"

The immediate reaction of the former patient was anger. But before the outburst came, she checked herself. Her thoughts ran something like this: "How could my sister-in-law know what that victory meant to me? She probably thought I was just putting an act."

I was fascinated by her account of how she handled herself in that situation. She actually tried to put herself inside her sister-in-law's skin and to see how it all must look to her.

Most of us are not at our best in handling criticism, especially if it seems underserved. We resent the angry barb, the verbal kick in the pants. When shot at that way, we often shoot back.

The lady with the nervous disorder sent me scuttling home to have another look at my personal inventory.

Monsieur Voltaire would have been grateful to her for illustrating so beautifully what he meant by his dictum "TO UNDERSTAND IS TO FORGIVE'.

DON SAYS: A very worthwhile story. It is difficult to overcome the action that we desire to make against someone who has hurt our feelings, or calls us to task for our actions. It takes a strong person to do this. And I think most of us are strong persons if we want to be.