Friday, January 9, 2009

LOVE MAY BE AT THE ROOT OF WOMEN'S ALCOHOLISM

A professional sociologist says a woman's all-encompassing need to express love is at the root of all her alcohol problems.

Jean Kirkpatrick of Quakertown, Pa. founder and president of Women for Sobriety, says when a woman feels her love is not needed, she is filled with a sense of unworthiness. Sometimes she turns to drinking to ease this emotional pain.

Dr. Kirkpatrick, who personally fought the alcoholism battle for some 25 years, said women drink to compensate for a low self-esteem. Often their problems are promoted by such things as the break up of a marriage, by death or divorce, or the leaving of one of their children from home.

"Alcohol gradually becomes a personality dimension, relieving boredom and alienation." North American society's mania for youth "that makes a woman of 40 feel worthless in the labor force" is another factor that could account for an increasing number of female alcoholics, she said.

The pattern the female problem drinker follows until she is solidly addicted is essentially the same in all cases, said the sociologist. She sketched the steps. "At a critical period, like at a time of crisis, a woman's drinking suddenly increases. She finds at a party that drinks are not served fast enough, that they are not strong enough. She may even offer help make them so she can put extra alcohol in hers".

"She starts suggesting to friends that they meet her for lunch and have a couple of drinks. She finds herself visiting only her friends who drink. She starts having a drink before she goes out in the evening; a drink bfore someone is coming in for an evening; a drink before she goes to the destist, etc."

Dr. Kirkpatrick said our image of the skid row drunk is false. "In fact , only about 4% of female alcoholics end up there. The other 96% attempt to lead their lives in an almost normal fashion. They continue to work, but they often miss Mondays.

"Alcohol gradually becomes an obsession; something the woman must orient her life around. Soon she has devastating hangovers, so she takes a drink early in the morning to relieve her symptoms." And since the woman may be secretly covering up her symptoms, such as shaking and perspiring, often the public is unaware of what is happening. Instead, they find the woman unusually animated, enthusiastic, and full of energy.

"The alcoholic woman puts on the greatest act in the world," she added. "They measure their actions, their smiles, so their sylmptoms won't show. "The most tragic thing about this process is that the woman herself is the last one to know. Self-deceit is part of addiction. Once in a while, someone like a family member may reach her during the early morning and solicit promises from her she will never drink again.

The family member believes this because he wants to. When the woman fails to keep her promise, the family just becomes more demanding and more disappointed. The woman drinks more to cover her upset feelings." At this point, women are beyond helping themselves. And sadly, the family will rarely accept the responsibility of facing the truth. They wish for the impssible; that the problem will just go away.

WRITTEN BY A CLINICAL NURSE

DON says: This came as a surprise to me. I hadn't really looked at female alcoholics. They react in a much different than a man to alcohol addiction. Of course this is why men are so much different from women in most things. Women are able to cover up addiction more easily. They do not act as brashly, or exhibit signs of drinking that a man will. It goes to show though, that women can suffer as much as men, when they get too far into the cycle of drinking.

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