Relationships That Make a Difference
by Dr. Birtch -

"The greatest factor that has helped me in my recovery has been the support of other members of my group". This statement was made one evening when one group that had five months experience behind it since leaving Donwood was telling another newer group about how they were getting on.

The person who made the statement was asked to explain further. He claimed that their group had achieved a relationship with one another that was remarkable. It was based on honesty. They had learned to trust one another.

They are able to confide in one another because each person no longer has to protect his image or appear to be something other than what he is. The result is a feeling of security that is deep and real. Not all groups achieve that happy state. But I am getting the impression that we should be working at it a lot harder. Before leaving Donwood a plan is set up for members of a group to keep in touch with one another.

It is a sort of "buddy system". When people are taking this seriously and working at it the results pay off. They have the feeling of being committed not only to one's own success but to other people's too is, all part of the strength needed to make the grade. And of course what happens in a Donwood group is just pilot project for living in a broader context. It occurs to me that if he can be honest with his friends in Donwood, he can risk being honest with other people too.

When that step is taken he is really on the road!

Don says: You know, the most important person in the whole equation is your wife or lover. Kids, moms and dads, siblings, friends all play an important part in the rehabilitation of the alcoholic. However the one that is closest to you will be able to provide the best support. This is usually the wife or husband. They more than anyone else have most to win or lose in your fight to overcome the addiction. You have a special bond with them. You can confide in them, tell them things you wouldn't tell to anyone else. They will support you to the bitter end. Look after them, they are precious.