DISCIPLINE IN RECOVERY

Norman Barr, psychiatrist and reality therapist, says in a recent article "Responsible behaviour is the root, not the result of, happiness. Responsible behaviour means fulfilling one's needs for love and worth, without hurting others in the process.'

Two things about this quotation strike me most forcefully. First, it is a two sentence representation of a formula for recovery from chemical dependence.

Second, by the very nature of its suggested direction, it requires of the recovering patient an uncommonly, even frighteningly, high degree of self discipline. At time of treatment it seems almost impossible!

What then? How does this thing get started? How, when I have tried so many times in the past to exercise self-discipline, made promises to myself and to others and failed so miserably, can I be expected to produce such discipline now? The answer is I can't - except gradually. I must learn.

The first step in the new direction may be nothing more than a slight shift in attitude. A departure from my old rigid position that might allow me to say "These people seem to be saying that there is another way, that I can find it, and that they can help me find it. Maybe I should listen - What have I got to lose?"

Not much of a move but it is a beginning. I have more to learn, and to learn I must listen. I must try.

I must try, first, to let go of my preconceived ideas; to make a conscious effort to loosen my defences; to accept, even if grudgingly , that other points of view do have validity.

I must try to cooperate and to follow the suggestions of the staff; to get as much as possible from the tapes and films, and discussions; to question with sincerity, not for the sake of argument.

Perhaps most difficult of all, I must try to be a participant in group therapy. Not to just sit there saying to myself "I'm not like the rest of these people - none of this applies to me." To try to see that, in fact, I am much like they are, but that I find it hard to trust - to say what I really do feel. To keep on trying.

Planning - I must make the effort to set down for myself some guidelines to help me in this rather frightening transition period. Maybe to accept, at least on a trial basis, some of the suggested ways and means of making this thing work. I am an expert in the "before" aspect of this treatment business but maybe I'll need help in the "after" side of things. There certainly are a lot of people available to me - can I risk asking for their help. Can I accept their help? I can try!

I am about to be discharged. How do I feel? Frightened, certainly, but somehow I feel good about it too! What has happened? Why do I feel different somehow?

Sure I've been helped - everybody in the hospital has at least tried to help in some way. For that I am grateful. Have I tried to help? Not much maybe, but somehow I am aware of an effort on my part - I want tthis thing to work.

Not much? It's a start.

MIKE WILSON

DON SAYS: Mike wrote this while on staff at the Donwood Institute in March of 1974. His views and ideas are quite interesting. See "Discipline in Recovery Part 2".