TIME TO GROW UP

BY DR. GEORGE BIRTCH

The fact that a person has reached the age of twenty-one does not mean necessarily that he has grown up. We never quite grow up, any of us. Growing is living and living is growing. When you stop growing you are dead, whether they have buried you yet or not. How, then, do we grow up?

One way is that we progress from self-centredness to becomin a living, functioning part of the world we live in. A baby begins by being entirely self-centred. His own needs are his only concern. Growth means increasing awareness of the world around him and participation in it.

Dennis the Menace, in the comic strips, was sweet and appealing because, in his child-like way, he always wanted to do the thing that pleased him. But Dennis grows up. At least we hope he does.

Yet grown men with nothing but a little furry fringe on top are still seen behaving like Dennis the Menace, pretending that nothing matters, but to do what pleases them without consideration for anyone else around them The world is simply a giant nipple on which they suck.

We also can grow in imagination. I do not mean dreaming about things that are not so. I mean rather the ability to put yourself in the other person's place. Imagine what it must feel like to be in his shoes, and then treat him as you would like to be treated if you were he.

One reason for our thoughtlessness in word and act is that we have never grown in the ability to imagine what the other person is feeling. Most important of all is the need to grow in willingness to be responsible for our own behavior. This seems the hardest of all. Johhny fails at school and explains, "the stupid teachers can't teach."

Joe does not progress in business. It is the fault of the government.

Bill is unhappy because his parents made such a mess of bringing him up. Fred drinks because his wife drove him to it.

I am still a childish child until I acknowledge that I am responsible for me. In many ways we differ, but we are all together in this one. We all need to grow up.

Don says: The key words are "grow up". Sometimes we as alcoholics look at the world through the eyes of a child, and a naughty one at that. Poor us! Who will pick us up when we pass out, or soil our shorts, or insult the boss or a neighbor. Who will hold our hand when all seems to go well and we don't seem able to make it. It is OUR responsibility to govern our lives and actions so GROW UP.