A MAN CALLED JOHN

BY DR. GEORGE BIRTCH

There is a man called John.

As a boy he learned things that have influenced his performance as a man. Patterns were imprinted that are stil part of what he is. He learned, for example, that when he excelled he was praised and applauded. When he failed, he noted a look of sadness in his mother's eye. As a good boy, he enjoyed parental favour. Badness let to crises in the woodshed.

Out of all this John learned something. To win favour, he must excel. Popularity must be earned. Weaknesses must be hidden. Only his "good" side can he afford to expose to public view.

When John fails, as he sometimes does, he is desolate. His self-confidence takes a beating. He knows other people must dislike and even despise him. The only way back to favour that he knows is to work overtime at a superman performance.

Have you met John? Do you like him? Is he the sort of person whose company you seek out, and with whom you can relax and be yourself?

In this pursuit of health, one of the key words is identity. Whatever else it means, it includes knowing and accepting one's self as one really is. I have strong points and I have weak points. So do you. Mine are different from yours. Each one of us has a unique combination of strengths and weaknesses.

As the song says, "I've gotta be me". That's not where the story ends, but it is where it has to begin. I am just me. You are just you. We might as well get used to it, accept one another, and start from there.

Don says: Do you see yourself here? If so, look specifically at your strong and weak points, and see how you can improve your life by changing them