Did I ever get a shock recently! I almost had a slip. (back to drinking). After four years of sobriety I felt I had it beaten. Cocky andf confident, I knew I had it beaten, no need to ever worry about having a drink, no desire or inclination to, apart from the odd hankering for a cold beer on a hot day, or something to cool me out after an especially hard day.
I figured these were the only hazards an alcoholic really had to cope with after the first year. How wrong I was!
It all happened a short time ago at a cocktail and business meeting type affair to introduce a new Canadian company to the press and public; a strictly public promotion affair. (Working for the bank I go to countless affairs where booze is served as a mattger of course, under a sort of cocktail party atmosphere, and I suppose I have been to literally dozens of these affairs and have had no problems). This particular event was at the Royal York roof garden, and the elevator ride up started me feeling a bit edgy as, since I quit drinking, elevators and subways haven't been my favorite places, although I am almost over it now.
I got there early, and went right over to the bar for my usual coke, which I carry for the duration of the event, mostly from habit I think, and it keeps people from bothering me about having a drink, they see that I am well looked after. In most cases, if they see a glass in my hand they assume I am drinking and there is no need to go into the fact that I don't drink, and no long explanations are needed.
Gradually the room filled with all sorts of people, celebrities, hangers on, and the such. It was then that I felt the queerest mood come over me. All I could focus on was the clinking of the glases, the bright colours, the noise and, most of all the bar. It drew me like a magnet. I felt I was in another dimension, all the past and future was blacked out.
I was caught in the midst of a seething noisy crowd and I felt trapped, and smothered. I don't know if it was fear, or somewhat of a hypnotic effect, but the feeling was that I was absolutely caught up in it, and the bar was the focal point of everything.
A drink became the most important thing in life to me at that instant. I could feel the bar drawing me over. Nothing else mattered, not my family or my job or life itself. I was completely, physically and mentally craving a drink. It was the fountain that would envelope me and solve all my problems. Mother womb. No responsibility or pressures, no need to struggle or care about anything.
I was in a complete trance. I had a warm feeling all over, and my whole being was poSsessed by the need for a drink. I sat and pondered how good it would feel. How it would course through my veins and the old tingling sensation would return and the world would glow. Heaven would come down and wrap me in a warm and sensuous blanket.
Then a little voice in the back of my mind said; "Good God, the antabuse is in my veins. If I drink I will become violently ill and land in the hospital. I shook my head and fought to come back to reality. Had some food, felt better.
The cremonies came and went. I thanked the host for inviting me, and said goodby to a few acquaintances I knew and left the room. Down the elevator. Then like Dorothy in the "Wizard of Oz" going out the door I reentered reality. It was all over.
To this day I cannot explain what had happened to me, but I have often heard people say "what ever caused "so and so" to drop off the wagon after so many years of sobriety? Maybe the same thing happened to them. Who knows? Perhaps I wouldn't have had a drink without the antabuse, but I feel that it was the only factor that brought me through. As a saying in Alcoholic Anonymous, "Remember that we deal with alcohol - cunning, baffling, powerful!" How true!
I am now firmly convinced that I will have to be on guard against this-all powerful compulsion, which may only occur occasionally, for the rest of my natural life. I am also certain that I am going to take antabuse indefinitely, if only to have its protection for the future, when this situation at the bar may again arise.
A good friend of mine after a year's abstinence actually drank on top of antabuse! He cannot, to this day explain how it happened. It was one day's drinking that caused a withdrawal so severe that he is only gettin fully over it physically and mentally months later.
He related somewhat the same experience that I had in the bar - the feeling of being taken over by something intangible and all powerful. So - smart-ass , cocky Felstead has been taken down a peg or two, and now much humbler, is going to be much more careful, and less self righteous in the future.
DON FELSTEAD
DON says: It is now 2008, and I am still sober without any slips. My wife is proud of me, my children are proud of me, and I am proud of me. I humbly thank God for his guidance and help.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
THE SIMPLE LIFE (WRITTEN IN SEPTEMBER 1972
I'm having a love affair with life! It started when I left Donwood Institute over three years ago. I had faced my alcohol addiction and re-entered society in a sober and reasonable manner.
Now came discovery of the challenge of coping with life, and the bittersweet ups and downs that every human being is subjected to. No more alcohol anaesthetic to fog up reality and numb the senses. Freedom to choose my own path! The clarity of mind to make my own decisions as to where I'm going.
We moved to the country. King City, in fact. Where the air is clear, and the pace is slower. Quite an experience for a born and bred city boy to look out the back window and see our neighbour the farmer plowing his field. Dead quiet in the cool night. Who cares for succesS in the business world, the groping for material things, the second car, the fawning attention of the subordinate employees, the endless cocktail parties with the smoky, inane, boring conversations that are finished in ten minutes, only to be repeated over and over again.
Better the walk to the back fields to cut wood for the winter.
Better the garden to grow food to freeze for the winter.
Better the friends and neighbours over for coffee and simple conversations. Sounds old fashioned? Maybe they had something, back there, before the television and radio, corporate giants, the dishwasher, dryer, snowmobile. Life was simple, and basic, and uncomplicated. Less stress.
Sounds simple and lovely, doesn't it? There is a price however for the recovering alcoholic. That price is self control and self discipline. The facing of life head on. Accepting all its ups and downs without running to the bottle or pills. Every time we take a drink or pop a pill, we surrender to our weaknesses, and even if no one else knows, we know down deep in our soul that we have given up a little bit, and we are not facing life.
It is never too late for anyone to change, and get back to a simple and basic way of life. Where people replace the bottle. To where the most important thing is Love.
DON FELSTEAD
DON says: King City was a wonderful place to live, but it was only one step in our lives. We eventually moved to 16 acres in Orillia where we lived for many years, finally settling in Barrie, Ont., where we retired.
Now came discovery of the challenge of coping with life, and the bittersweet ups and downs that every human being is subjected to. No more alcohol anaesthetic to fog up reality and numb the senses. Freedom to choose my own path! The clarity of mind to make my own decisions as to where I'm going.
We moved to the country. King City, in fact. Where the air is clear, and the pace is slower. Quite an experience for a born and bred city boy to look out the back window and see our neighbour the farmer plowing his field. Dead quiet in the cool night. Who cares for succesS in the business world, the groping for material things, the second car, the fawning attention of the subordinate employees, the endless cocktail parties with the smoky, inane, boring conversations that are finished in ten minutes, only to be repeated over and over again.
Better the walk to the back fields to cut wood for the winter.
Better the garden to grow food to freeze for the winter.
Better the friends and neighbours over for coffee and simple conversations. Sounds old fashioned? Maybe they had something, back there, before the television and radio, corporate giants, the dishwasher, dryer, snowmobile. Life was simple, and basic, and uncomplicated. Less stress.
Sounds simple and lovely, doesn't it? There is a price however for the recovering alcoholic. That price is self control and self discipline. The facing of life head on. Accepting all its ups and downs without running to the bottle or pills. Every time we take a drink or pop a pill, we surrender to our weaknesses, and even if no one else knows, we know down deep in our soul that we have given up a little bit, and we are not facing life.
It is never too late for anyone to change, and get back to a simple and basic way of life. Where people replace the bottle. To where the most important thing is Love.
DON FELSTEAD
DON says: King City was a wonderful place to live, but it was only one step in our lives. We eventually moved to 16 acres in Orillia where we lived for many years, finally settling in Barrie, Ont., where we retired.
LIFE GROWTH - WRITTEN JULY, 1972
I don't know about you but I'm getting awfully sick of beer commercials. Just because I quit drinking I'm not against the moderate use of alcohol, and it has its place, however, must we put up with the constant day in and day out barrage of beer commercials, such as the "barley sandwich" and "Molson Golden's" promise of a beautiful world where everyone is pretty and they sing and dance all day!
Once or twice should be sufficient, instead of the twenty or thirty times in a day that we are exposed to this garbage. This insidious advertising, constantly blared out at the public from radio, television and the newspapers, also makes it very difficult, sometimes impossible, for a recovering alcoholic to stay on the straight and narrow.
He is constantly reminded that alcohol is beautiful and there is nothing really wrong with it since it is a very socially acceptable drug, which will provide a soothing and beneficial effect to all that partake of it.
I don't think anything can be done about this advertising since it comes from a very influential and wealthy industry, which is supported by a very tax income conscious government. Now you know how it bothers,me and probably countless others, so it may not be so bad the next time you hear it. Try this for a rough day recently!
On my way to work on a country road, I noticed a car pull over to the side of the road and three obviously plastered individuals fall out and start to drink some cold beer. After a tight feeling in my gut, and wishing I were with them, I progressed to work where I interviewed several persons who had been niciceably partaking of the grape and who smelled like breweries.
Later in the day a customer who works for a wine company came in and gave a bottle of their best. When I got home and shared a getting home coffee with my wife, another beer commercial on the radio! That was a good day to get through and I hope they aren't all the sme in the future.
DON FELSTEAD
DON says: It is now 2008, and I will say there is a lot less advertising of booze, and it is no longer fashionable to pull over to the side of the road to partake of a drink. Probably someone will call the cops and put a stop to it. Maybe some jail time. How times change, and for the better. It is 40 years since my last drink so alcohol advertising doesn't bother me much. Attitudes regarding drinking have changed dramatically, and hopefully we can get somewhere in the understanding of the problems alcoholic addicts face every day. God bless them, and help them get out of that awful grip.
Once or twice should be sufficient, instead of the twenty or thirty times in a day that we are exposed to this garbage. This insidious advertising, constantly blared out at the public from radio, television and the newspapers, also makes it very difficult, sometimes impossible, for a recovering alcoholic to stay on the straight and narrow.
He is constantly reminded that alcohol is beautiful and there is nothing really wrong with it since it is a very socially acceptable drug, which will provide a soothing and beneficial effect to all that partake of it.
I don't think anything can be done about this advertising since it comes from a very influential and wealthy industry, which is supported by a very tax income conscious government. Now you know how it bothers,me and probably countless others, so it may not be so bad the next time you hear it. Try this for a rough day recently!
On my way to work on a country road, I noticed a car pull over to the side of the road and three obviously plastered individuals fall out and start to drink some cold beer. After a tight feeling in my gut, and wishing I were with them, I progressed to work where I interviewed several persons who had been niciceably partaking of the grape and who smelled like breweries.
Later in the day a customer who works for a wine company came in and gave a bottle of their best. When I got home and shared a getting home coffee with my wife, another beer commercial on the radio! That was a good day to get through and I hope they aren't all the sme in the future.
DON FELSTEAD
DON says: It is now 2008, and I will say there is a lot less advertising of booze, and it is no longer fashionable to pull over to the side of the road to partake of a drink. Probably someone will call the cops and put a stop to it. Maybe some jail time. How times change, and for the better. It is 40 years since my last drink so alcohol advertising doesn't bother me much. Attitudes regarding drinking have changed dramatically, and hopefully we can get somewhere in the understanding of the problems alcoholic addicts face every day. God bless them, and help them get out of that awful grip.
A MATTER OF COMMITTMENT - WRITTEN 1972
A fellow alumni of the Donwood Institute and I were discussing recently the strange fact that most alcoholics are not really ready or willing to commit themselves to a complete life of sobriety for at least the first year after taking their last drink.
During this first year we tend to toy with the idea of returning to drinking. We still crave not only the alcohol, but the way of life it provides, such as the escape it gives from reality and our ability under its influence to lower or ignore our stands of morality, and take away our inhibitions for a short while.
It is extremely difficult during this period to face the fact that we must quit drinking forever, not just for a short period of time as we wish we could.
Remember the first thought of quitting for good? The sick feeling in the stomach? The feeling of fear? How could we possibly do that? We have tried many times in the past to quit, usually for short periods of time in the hope we could control our drinking like other people. But forever?
Impossible! This never could be done - or could it? The secret lies in our ability to face life one day at a time. In the beginning it seems impossible, but if we stick to it, the days add up to weeks, then months, and then the first crucial year is past. We actually have quit drinking for a whole year! Now we can face forever.
With this final acceptance, a great feeling of relief comes over us. We relax finally, for we no longer seem to have to fight our constant compulses to drink. Life is found to be surprisingly good without booze. We find other ways to face life, and with it comes satisfaction , and a great feeling of confidence and pride in ourselves. We did it! All by ourselves.
We used to think it couldn't be done, but we are stronger than we realized, and we are worthwhile. Something we couldn't have believed in the past. Remember, most people will never have to go through what we do to quit drinking, and perhaps we are stronger than they, for having the strength and fortitude to do it.
We all have the strength within us to overcome our drinking if we honestly want to. It is not easy, and we require a lot of help, but we can do it!
AND IT IS WORTH IT!
DON says: I really felt good re-reading this article after so many years. This is now 2008, and I have lived through all my crises' and life is not only good, it is excellent. I have had the priviledge of helping to bring up four stable children who have families of their own. I am so happy that I quit drinking, and was able to give back to life, that was given to me by God.
During this first year we tend to toy with the idea of returning to drinking. We still crave not only the alcohol, but the way of life it provides, such as the escape it gives from reality and our ability under its influence to lower or ignore our stands of morality, and take away our inhibitions for a short while.
It is extremely difficult during this period to face the fact that we must quit drinking forever, not just for a short period of time as we wish we could.
Remember the first thought of quitting for good? The sick feeling in the stomach? The feeling of fear? How could we possibly do that? We have tried many times in the past to quit, usually for short periods of time in the hope we could control our drinking like other people. But forever?
Impossible! This never could be done - or could it? The secret lies in our ability to face life one day at a time. In the beginning it seems impossible, but if we stick to it, the days add up to weeks, then months, and then the first crucial year is past. We actually have quit drinking for a whole year! Now we can face forever.
With this final acceptance, a great feeling of relief comes over us. We relax finally, for we no longer seem to have to fight our constant compulses to drink. Life is found to be surprisingly good without booze. We find other ways to face life, and with it comes satisfaction , and a great feeling of confidence and pride in ourselves. We did it! All by ourselves.
We used to think it couldn't be done, but we are stronger than we realized, and we are worthwhile. Something we couldn't have believed in the past. Remember, most people will never have to go through what we do to quit drinking, and perhaps we are stronger than they, for having the strength and fortitude to do it.
We all have the strength within us to overcome our drinking if we honestly want to. It is not easy, and we require a lot of help, but we can do it!
AND IT IS WORTH IT!
DON says: I really felt good re-reading this article after so many years. This is now 2008, and I have lived through all my crises' and life is not only good, it is excellent. I have had the priviledge of helping to bring up four stable children who have families of their own. I am so happy that I quit drinking, and was able to give back to life, that was given to me by God.
FREEDOM
As time goes by in my sobriety, (it is almost three years now), I find the most important thing that has happened to me is that of acquiring freedom. I never really knew how little freedom I had when I was drinking.
For years the world revolved around the bottle - when and where was the next drink coming from?
(1) Rating the upcoming party - are they serving booze? If so, how much? Were the other people coming moderate or heavy drinkers? Would I be able to consume my normal amount, or would I stick out as a boozer?
(2) Getting ready for the weekend - The trip home from work on a Friday afternoon - first stop at the beer store for 24 pints which would last until 3pm on Saturday afternoon, a stop at the liquor store for a 24 ounce bottle of whiskey, to last from 3pm to crash out Saturday night, and of course the carton of 12 pints of beer for coming down on Sunday.
Say! I had better get another 12 pints of beer in case of company. (I hope no one will show up, it could cut down on my total consumption).
(3) Remember the dances? at 1.45 p.m. the panic. Get to the bar before it closes - get at least five shots lined up on the table - don't forget to get the wife five - she won't drink them but I will. That will last until I get home - there's some more there.
In God's name how much time did I waste in planning my drinking? How much of my life was lost in that quagmire? A sense of relief now - of confidence. I have feedom now. I am free from self doubt, self pity. The blackouts - what did I do? Where is the car? Can I find it? any blood, dents? Did I insult anyone? Is there anyone I should be ashamed to face?
I am free now. Free to enjoy life, watch my children grow. Freedom means to see the sunrise, hear the birds, come and go at will - be the master of my own fate.
Today is beautiful - Thank God I can enjoy it to its fullest, and not through the thick haze of a booze induced euphoria. Now I can say it was worth the aggravation and torment it took to quit drinking.
DON FELSTEAD
DON says: I wrote the above in April of 1972 after 3 years of sobriety. It is chilling for me to re-read this account. It brings back hurtful memories, with thankfulness that I did a turn around and became sober. It is now 2008, and I have been sober since May 24th, 1969.
For years the world revolved around the bottle - when and where was the next drink coming from?
(1) Rating the upcoming party - are they serving booze? If so, how much? Were the other people coming moderate or heavy drinkers? Would I be able to consume my normal amount, or would I stick out as a boozer?
(2) Getting ready for the weekend - The trip home from work on a Friday afternoon - first stop at the beer store for 24 pints which would last until 3pm on Saturday afternoon, a stop at the liquor store for a 24 ounce bottle of whiskey, to last from 3pm to crash out Saturday night, and of course the carton of 12 pints of beer for coming down on Sunday.
Say! I had better get another 12 pints of beer in case of company. (I hope no one will show up, it could cut down on my total consumption).
(3) Remember the dances? at 1.45 p.m. the panic. Get to the bar before it closes - get at least five shots lined up on the table - don't forget to get the wife five - she won't drink them but I will. That will last until I get home - there's some more there.
In God's name how much time did I waste in planning my drinking? How much of my life was lost in that quagmire? A sense of relief now - of confidence. I have feedom now. I am free from self doubt, self pity. The blackouts - what did I do? Where is the car? Can I find it? any blood, dents? Did I insult anyone? Is there anyone I should be ashamed to face?
I am free now. Free to enjoy life, watch my children grow. Freedom means to see the sunrise, hear the birds, come and go at will - be the master of my own fate.
Today is beautiful - Thank God I can enjoy it to its fullest, and not through the thick haze of a booze induced euphoria. Now I can say it was worth the aggravation and torment it took to quit drinking.
DON FELSTEAD
DON says: I wrote the above in April of 1972 after 3 years of sobriety. It is chilling for me to re-read this account. It brings back hurtful memories, with thankfulness that I did a turn around and became sober. It is now 2008, and I have been sober since May 24th, 1969.
RESPONSIBILITY
We are all responsible for our own actions.
We are also responsible to each other.
It has occurred to me that "slips", or "a return to the chemical to which we are addicted can be hastened, or helped along by seeing another ex patient "slip". This can be likened to the "falling dominoes" theory which President Nixon is so afraid will happen in Asia. \
Like it or not, we alcoholics are a closely-knit group. Whether we, as our prerogative allows, stick together in groups such as the "Continuing Therapy Programme at Donwood", or "A.A.", or after leaving Donwood we melt back into society avoiding or trying to forget our affliction.
We are very aware of our fellow alcoholics and how they fare with their problem. Considering this to be true then, we could surmise that when a slip occurs, other people are affected and their resolve to stay "dry" or abstain from their chemical is softened.
Poor old "Sam" had a slip - Gee, if he couldn't make it, what chance have I?
What a wonderful opportunity to rationalize our way back to a drink. Let's face it - we watch each other like a hawk, either for strengths or weaknesses.
An old friend of mine, wh0 lives out of town recently had a slip after eleven months of sobriety. It was hard for him to maintain his sobriety, like it is for all of us. He managed to do it through close contact with A..A. As time progressed , he became healthier, his finances improved and life generally became very good. In his new found happiness, he tried to impart some of his good fortune to help other alchoholics, perhaps too zealously.
When he did finally have a slip, a friend of his with whom he was working to help maintain some measure of sobriety, enthusiastically and with great exultation told everyone he knew that his friend "the King" had fallen off the wagon, and if the "king" couldn't make it who the Hell could?
He then also proceeded to get very drunk.
My point is that, when my friend gave up and drank, he influenced the thinking of at least one other person, and God knows how many others. We are closely tuned in with our fellow man and everything we do has influence on his thinking or actions. If he is a fellow addict he is closely watching us and if we are doing well it may provide some strength for him to carry on. If not, perhaps he will be adversely affected. Remember, if you slip, you are not only greatly harming yourself but are affecting someone else, to whom you are responsible.
DON FELSTEAD
DON says: I wrote this in October of 1971. I am a firm believer that we are tuned into each other human being we interact with, and part of our responsibility on this earth is to help our fellow man in any way we can, including the fellow alcoholic.
We are also responsible to each other.
It has occurred to me that "slips", or "a return to the chemical to which we are addicted can be hastened, or helped along by seeing another ex patient "slip". This can be likened to the "falling dominoes" theory which President Nixon is so afraid will happen in Asia. \
Like it or not, we alcoholics are a closely-knit group. Whether we, as our prerogative allows, stick together in groups such as the "Continuing Therapy Programme at Donwood", or "A.A.", or after leaving Donwood we melt back into society avoiding or trying to forget our affliction.
We are very aware of our fellow alcoholics and how they fare with their problem. Considering this to be true then, we could surmise that when a slip occurs, other people are affected and their resolve to stay "dry" or abstain from their chemical is softened.
Poor old "Sam" had a slip - Gee, if he couldn't make it, what chance have I?
What a wonderful opportunity to rationalize our way back to a drink. Let's face it - we watch each other like a hawk, either for strengths or weaknesses.
An old friend of mine, wh0 lives out of town recently had a slip after eleven months of sobriety. It was hard for him to maintain his sobriety, like it is for all of us. He managed to do it through close contact with A..A. As time progressed , he became healthier, his finances improved and life generally became very good. In his new found happiness, he tried to impart some of his good fortune to help other alchoholics, perhaps too zealously.
When he did finally have a slip, a friend of his with whom he was working to help maintain some measure of sobriety, enthusiastically and with great exultation told everyone he knew that his friend "the King" had fallen off the wagon, and if the "king" couldn't make it who the Hell could?
He then also proceeded to get very drunk.
My point is that, when my friend gave up and drank, he influenced the thinking of at least one other person, and God knows how many others. We are closely tuned in with our fellow man and everything we do has influence on his thinking or actions. If he is a fellow addict he is closely watching us and if we are doing well it may provide some strength for him to carry on. If not, perhaps he will be adversely affected. Remember, if you slip, you are not only greatly harming yourself but are affecting someone else, to whom you are responsible.
DON FELSTEAD
DON says: I wrote this in October of 1971. I am a firm believer that we are tuned into each other human being we interact with, and part of our responsibility on this earth is to help our fellow man in any way we can, including the fellow alcoholic.
THE BLOOD AND THE RUNNING SHOES
It was a bright, hot and sunny day. The cement truck went through the red light and hit the stationwagon dead centre, knocking groceries all over the ground for a hundred feet. After the dust had settled all I could remember seeing was the dazed and frantic father wandering around with blood pouring from his head, a distraught and hysterical mother who had run from her home to see what all the commotion was about, and, lastly the body of a very small boy, running shoes sticking out from one end of the blanket and a pool of blood at the other end.
The father had just picked up his son from a hockey game, and was hit by the speeding cement truck in front of their home.
Two things occurred to me as I stood there watching the police and firemen grimly picking up the pieces. One was the dramatic swiftness with which death can come, and the other is the terrible grief and heartbreak left behind with the living, the survivors. It made my problems and cares very small and insignificant in the of the enormity of the tragedy.
All too often we drift through life, wandering aimlessly, doping ourselves with alcohol or drugs, hoping to relieve some of the pain or anxiety which life brings us. Instead we should be using all our resources to build a responsible and constructive life for both ourselves and those around us.
Today, now, this minute, is the most important time in our lives. Yesterday is just history, tomorrow we may just be like that small boy - a memory.
We must learn to control our emotions, use more discipline with regard to our wants and desires for a soft and easy life. Some of us may attain it, but is is worthless and empty, for we, as human beings must have a sense of accomplishment, a sense of being needed, as sense of worth, to be happy. I have yet to see a man who lacks these qualities, happy.
I hope that I am never faced with the heartache and tragedy that befell that family, however should this happen, I hope I would have the courage and dignity to face it without retreating into the bottle for solace and comfort.
This is what life is all about - laughter, pleasure, happiness, pain, suffering, and sometimes tragedy.
God grant me the serenity and dignity to accept the things I cannot change.
DON FELSTEAD
DON says: The foregoing event happened in September of 1971, I had been sober since May, 1969, still fighting my demons. This was a pivotal time for me. I had learned to face life and my experiences with calm and serenity instead of retreating to the bottle for refuge. It was another milestone towards my calm and stability.
The father had just picked up his son from a hockey game, and was hit by the speeding cement truck in front of their home.
Two things occurred to me as I stood there watching the police and firemen grimly picking up the pieces. One was the dramatic swiftness with which death can come, and the other is the terrible grief and heartbreak left behind with the living, the survivors. It made my problems and cares very small and insignificant in the of the enormity of the tragedy.
All too often we drift through life, wandering aimlessly, doping ourselves with alcohol or drugs, hoping to relieve some of the pain or anxiety which life brings us. Instead we should be using all our resources to build a responsible and constructive life for both ourselves and those around us.
Today, now, this minute, is the most important time in our lives. Yesterday is just history, tomorrow we may just be like that small boy - a memory.
We must learn to control our emotions, use more discipline with regard to our wants and desires for a soft and easy life. Some of us may attain it, but is is worthless and empty, for we, as human beings must have a sense of accomplishment, a sense of being needed, as sense of worth, to be happy. I have yet to see a man who lacks these qualities, happy.
I hope that I am never faced with the heartache and tragedy that befell that family, however should this happen, I hope I would have the courage and dignity to face it without retreating into the bottle for solace and comfort.
This is what life is all about - laughter, pleasure, happiness, pain, suffering, and sometimes tragedy.
God grant me the serenity and dignity to accept the things I cannot change.
DON FELSTEAD
DON says: The foregoing event happened in September of 1971, I had been sober since May, 1969, still fighting my demons. This was a pivotal time for me. I had learned to face life and my experiences with calm and serenity instead of retreating to the bottle for refuge. It was another milestone towards my calm and stability.
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